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3. I feel so bad about my body!
Read
Chapters in the book: 3 & 4
Over
the years I had managed to diet and eat myself up to 428
pounds. Morbid obesity brought with it many ailments. Even
going under the knife and having a surgical procedure to
loose weight was only a temporary fix. After dropping 240
pounds in less than 2 years, I then proceeded to gain back
over 120 of those pounds. It was not until I began to change
the unloving manner in which I thought, felt and acted toward
my body that it begin to release the excess weight and become
chemically balanced. My cells were simply responding to
all the negative beliefs and unhealthy habits in which I
was consciously and unconsciously choosing to engage.
BEFORE
November 1993 |
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AFTER
August 2003 |
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Around the same time I met Dr.
Chuck Greenwood, who explained that every cell
in our body has intelligence. What we say, think
and do affects our biology because our cells respond to what
is being communicated. Advanced technology is now able to
measure the effects we have on our bodies, not only by what
we ingest, expose or subject them to, but by what is going
on in our Minds.
What I have also leaned is that
there are specific circumstances, which may include specific
people, places and situations, that can be identified as catalysts
for individual growth. For many, it is a dysfunctional childhood
that drives people to want to be different, do better, rise
above it all, and ultimately heal their wounds. You
attract similar people and situations into your life until
you see patterns and begin to realize that the only part of
the picture that is always the same is you being in it.
That is when you begin to look and examine your part in the
picture. In order to be successful at clearly seeing the whole
picture, it’s imperative to learn to stop and step back
from all the circumstances. By stopping and choosing to step
back from the typical evolution of thought, you can evaluate
from a broader perspective- from observation rather than indulgent
participation. Slow down and view choices and eventual outcomes
with greater clarity. Clarity is a prerequisite for power,
so in slowly examining, you are able to see your personal
power. Your personal power is an innate and inherent state
of the Love that you are. Simply, when you
let yourself step back, you stop the madness and listen for
the wisdom that is bubbling up, clearing the debris of separation
and the confusion of clouded sight.
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Step back and asking yourself:
1. “What is my
part in this?”
2. “What wisdom am I to
garner from this experience?”
This will lift us out of the constraints, drama, confusion,
and chaos of the moment into a higher, wiser, expanded interpretation
of the experience.
As an example, as I step back
and look, I see the challenge of eliminating excess
weight as my greatest catalyst of personal growth.
By acknowledging my weight issue as a gift and a blessing,
I can see the love in it all and begin to love myself for
my entire journey (even the painful moments) because this
journey has been one of so much self-discovery. I hold my
thoughts about my body in a container of total love. That
has changed everything. The beginning of this major shift
in my attitude was when a very dear friend, Rick, turned to
me after a weekend of indulging in foods that made me feel
physically ill and said, “How loving are you being with
yourself?”
I began to notice
that to make loving choices I would need to incorporate the
habit of using the “Two Time Rule”.
In the past, I unconsciously ate spicy, greasy foods that
upset my stomach. I was not being loving to my body’s
cells. My impulses did not consider the consequences of my
choices. Now, I consciously make an effort to make loving
choices by first eliminating foods that make me ill. This
is how I came up with the “Two Time Rule”,
in which I first ask myself, “What do I
want?” (my Mind), and next ask, “What
do we want?” (the “we” meaning
my entire body). It allows a wiser, more loving option to
make itself known before choosing unaware. This is an effective
technique for many compulsive behaviors.
Following are the changes I
chose to make in my thinking to continue to create a healthy
body:
- I no longer allow myself to speak unlovingly
about myself and my body. In the past I
made jokes about my weight. I allowed my Mind to make
me wrong because of my physical size. Many people try
to convince themselves to exercise and eat properly, so
that they can look and feel good. It's called will-power
and discipline. I realized that those two things, will-power
and discipline, were real buttons for my controlling Mind.
Therefore, I needed to figure out a way around them. So
each morning I remind myself, “Today
I will make the most loving choices for my cells.”
, “How can I be loving to my muscles, organs, tissues,
bones and blood?” My answer is to
exercise them and feed them what they need. I added into
my life, vitamins, nutrients, more water and consistent
exercise, choosing some form of daily cardio and resistance
training.
- I no longer feed my feelings and stuff my
emotions down with food. I feel them, instead. I express
them responsibly. Another big change was
refusing to eat when I got upset. This was why I had stomach
problems since my early teens. Since it makes me feel
wonderful and look better, my desire is to take loving
care of my cells. I still enjoy chocolate and other goodies.
The difference is that I am ingesting them in a loving
conscious fashion, rather then not paying attention and
using food as a diversion. I am in that moment.
- “Two-Time Rule” …After
learning that every cell in the body has intelligence,
I took the next significant step. I learned to choose
from a state of awareness and ask first, “What do
I want?” and then ask, “What do we want to
eat?” No matter what that food is I pay attention
to not attach negative thoughts to it.
- I learned to bless the food and tell it
that I am offering it to my body as nourishment and that
whatever is not needed is to be discarded as waste. This
is the opposite of, “Oh my, this is so fattening,
it’s going straight to my thighs,” which amounts
to precise instructions to the cells as to what to do
with the food. Therefore, it makes total sense to me that
people of some cultures eat foods that would make many
of us very ill. Just the thought of eating these foods
makes us feel nauseous (a physical response by our cells,
from only the thought of ingesting the undesirable food).
- Another quick effective is:
a. I stop!
b. Take several deep breaths!!
c. Begin the following mantra (in my head): “I
am Love”
While saying the mantra. I continue taking deep breaths
until I
begin to feel calm and centered again.
As time goes on, having loving thoughts about my body
becomes more of my conscious state of being. However,
please understand that sometimes maintaining my thoughts
about my body, in a loving posture, can be a moment-to-moment
process. I am able to recognize those moments in which
I am allowing my Mind to engage in unloving, judgmental
chatter. My energy level lowers, and I begin to feel frustrated
toward myself and others. In those moments, I utilize
my tools.
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